The Flock
The donkeys currently chasing points this season. Stats pull live from the standings sheet.
- Rank#5 of 28
- Total points237
- Best night38
- Tournaments14
- Rank#6 of 28
- Total points227
- Best night68
- Tournaments14
- Rank#4 of 28
- Total points238
- Best night72
- Tournaments14
- Rank#2 of 28
- Total points268
- Best night56
- Tournaments14
- Rank#10 of 28
- Total points192
- Best night42
- Tournaments14
- Rank#23 of 28
- Total points0
- Best night0
- Tournaments14
Want your card here? Score some points. Want it gone? Same answer, different direction.
Know the Flock
The standings tell you who’s chasing points. This tells you who you’re actually sitting across from. Every donkey has a file. Here are the relevant parts.
JD
Founder · Commissioner · Historian
The man who started it all and then, naturally, started a spreadsheet about it. JD is the league’s founder, commissioner, and historian — tech-obsessed keeper of every record, recap, and Entry Toll (clam Contribution) ever collected. “Retired” to Las Vegas, which mostly means he reminds everyone he was here first while logging in remotely to make sure the archive is spelled correctly.
Bish
Founder · Permanent Host
Founder, drywall man by trade, and the league’s permanent host — the cards have an address because of Bish. He plays fearless and loud, famous for filing a Construction Permit (an aggressive bluff) and building a pot out of absolutely nothing. Open door, open kitchen, and a stack pushed all-in before you’ve finished reading your cards.
Billy
Founder · Storyteller
Founder, warehouse manager, and the source of roughly half of all league canon — if it’s a great quote, it’s probably a Billy quote. A proud dad who raised his kids around this felt (see: Allison and Steven). Come for the cards, stay for the story he’s already three sentences into.
Marland
National Treasure
Marland is best known for his Atmospheric Events (farts) and is the proud originator of Nut Gas, officially logged as an “unverified medical condition; further research required.” The league neither confirms nor denies, but the etiquette rules covering sudden table hazards are named in his honor. A donkey, a legend, and a one-man weather system.
Mark
The Analyst
A retired Boeing engineer who treats a poker table like a wind tunnel. Mark is the league’s resident analytical mind and proud spreadsheet enthusiast — when he’s Marking (technical analysis), he’s quietly working out the math while you’re still counting your chips. Calm, precise, and dangerous in the way only an engineer can be.
Jose
Friendly Giant
The friendly giant of the Flock and a devoted cannabis enthusiast, Jose is universally liked and impossibly relaxed — the kind of opponent who’ll bust you with a smile and then offer you a seat. Nobody at this table has a bad word to say about him, which in a room full of donkeys is its own kind of trophy.
Nick
Table Presence
A bodybuilder and lowrider enthusiast, Nick brings a table presence you can feel from across the room. He sits down, the felt gets a little quieter, and the chips seem to know who’s boss. Strong in every sense of the word — just don’t ask him to fold.
Jordan
The Technician
A hockey player and technical business owner, Jordan plays the game the way he runs his business — highly analytical, all angles covered. He’s reading the board three streets ahead while the rest of us are still arguing about Marland. Methodical, sharp, and tough to push off a hand.
Chance
Defender of the 5-3
The proud and lonely champion of the Chance-Approved Starting Hand (5-3 offsuit), defended endlessly against all evidence, mathematics, and basic decency. “It connects with the board in more ways than you think,” he insists. (It does not.) When it hits, the legend grows; when it doesn’t, we simply never speak of it.
Marcel
“The Clock”
An original-era member and the man behind Marceling (slow-playing or tanking a decision long enough to weather an entire board). The Great Clock Era is league scripture — he’s been known to Marcel a call for a full beer. Much improved now, the legend mellowed into something the Flock genuinely treasures.
Barney
Fan Favorite
A strong player, a fan favorite, and a connoisseur of tournament beverages — Barneying (enjoying a drink at the table) is practically part of his strategy. The league neither confirms nor denies the existence of the Barney Curve, but his best poker tends to arrive somewhere around beverage number three. Beloved, dangerous, and always good company.
Javier
Founding Era · Standard-Bearer
A founding-era standard-bearer, Palm Desert realtor, and JD’s best friend. Javier doesn’t make it out as often as he’d like, but the table is never quite complete without him. Old-school class — the kind of donkey the room stands a little taller for.
Mirtys
Power Figure
Owner of an escrow company and a serious student of the game, Mirtys is one of the genuine power figures of the league. When he sits down, the dynamic of the whole table shifts. Sharp, composed, and not someone you want to find on the other side of a big pot.
Mondo
The Veteran
A longtime, deeply respected member and one of the most dangerous opponents at the table. Mondo doesn’t need to say much — the results do the talking. Years of felt time have made him the kind of donkey you check your hand twice against.
Allison
Second Generation
Billy’s daughter and a Humboldt graduate, Allison is proof that the Flock renews itself — she grew up around this felt and now sits at it. Multi-generation poker, the way it should be. The next chapter of league canon is already in good hands.
Steven
Second Generation
Billy’s son and a second-generation player, Steven came up around this table and earned his seat the old-fashioned way. The felt has been in the family his whole life. Welcome to the Flock, kid — mind the Atmospheric Events.
Friends first, points second — that’s the house rule that kept us coming back for twenty years. Everyone here is a donkey. That’s the point. Suk-A-Butt good luck.