The Donkey Duel: Mondo Storms Back to Tie Tim for Chief Donkey
Poker In The Wood — 2026 Season · Event Archive
There are friendships that survive distance. There are friendships that survive marriages, mortgages, minivans, and at least one regrettable group decision involving a deep fryer. And then there’s whatever it is that keeps this particular Flock of Donkeys flying back to the same table after more than twenty years — twenty years of bad beats, worse haircuts, and the unshakable belief that this is the night your luck finally turns.
It did not turn for most of you. But it sure turned for Don.
Don remembered we have a poker league
Let’s start with the man of the night. Don, who has graced us with his presence a grand total of two times all season, strolled in, sat down, and promptly tied for the top score of the evening with 20 points. For those keeping count at home, that means Don’s per-appearance batting average is currently better than guys who’ve shown up to every single donkfest since January and have the parking spot to prove it.
We love you, Don. Please consider coming more than once a fiscal quarter. The chips miss you. The rest of us miss losing to you specifically.
Meanwhile, a season just caught fire
Sharing that 20-point summit was Mondo, and his night carried a little more weight on the leaderboard. Coming into the evening, Mondo was sitting 15 points back of Tim, who had built his lead on an absolutely cartoonish 84-point haul the event prior — the kind of night that gets a man’s name said in hushed, resentful tones for weeks.
But Tim cooled off to a polite 5 points this time, Mondo cashed in his 20, and just like that the math did something beautiful: the two of them are now deadlocked at 224 apiece atop the 2026 standings. After twelve events, the whole season has come down to a two-donkey duel for Chief Donkey, and neither of these guys has shown the slightest inclination to blink. We’ve watched these two needle each other across this table for the better part of two decades — now they get to do it for the title. Pull up a chair.
The supporting cast did some things too
Bish quietly stacked 17 to stay firmly in third overall (209), close enough to the leaders that one good multiplier night could turn this from a duel into a three-way street fight. Josh posted a tidy 16, and Jordan and Vene each grabbed 15 to keep the middle of the pack honest. Gary (14) and Billy (13) remain knotted together at 171 in the season standings, because of course they are — those two have been finishing within a chip of each other since flip phones.
As for the quieter nights: Jose managed a single point and Marland scraped together two, which is the polite way of saying the deck did not love them. Suk-A-Butt good luck, fellas. There’s always the next one. There’s always been a next one.
Where the 2026 race stands
- Tim — 224
- Mondo — 224
- Bish — 209
- Marland — 197
- Jose — 179
- Mark — 176
- Billy — 171
- Gary — 171
- Jordan — 162
- Runyon — 154
Twenty-plus years, same beautiful nonsense
Here’s the thing about a league this old. The points matter — Tim and Mondo will tell you they matter a great deal right about now — but they’re not really why anyone keeps coming back. You come back because Don still remembers your terrible tell from 2009. You come back because somebody at the table will, without fail, retell the story you’ve heard four hundred times, and you’ll laugh anyway. You come back because this same group of guys has been folding bad cards and raising worse ones at this table longer than some of our kids have been alive.
The standings will sort themselves out over the back half of the season. Tim and Mondo will trade the lead, somebody from the chase pack will get hot, and Don will probably show up one more time and win the whole night again just to remind us he can.
Another glorious donkfest is in the books. Same flock, same table, same nonsense — see you at the next one.
— Filed from the wood table, where the chairs are old, the friendships are older, and the bad beats are eternal.
