The season is live and the leaderboard is a knife fight. Here’s where things stand — officially and otherwise.

The real top 5

1. Tim & Mondo (tied, 224) — a genuine dead heat for Chief Donkey
2. Bish — lurking, dangerous, loud
3. The chase pack — one big multiplier night from chaos
4. Whoever ran hot last week
5. Whoever is about to run hot this week

Most Dangerous Players

1. Mondo — respected, feared, never bluffing when you hope he is
2. Bish — see: every pot
3. Mirtys — plays like the rent is due

Most Likely To Tank For Ten Minutes

1. Marcel (emeritus champion of this category)
2. Anyone holding 5-3 offsuit, i.e. Chance

Most Likely To Blame The River

1. All of us
2. The river (in absentia)

Most Likely To Have A Spreadsheet

1. JD (it’s not close; it will never be close)
2. Mark, the Boeing engineer, as a matter of principle
3. Jordan, who solved it for fun

Disagree violently? Good. That’s the point. New rankings drop regularly — see the full Power Rankings archive.