Every great league has one story that defines its relationship with the truth. For Poker In The Wood, that story is Nut Gas.

Sometime in the early PITW era, Marland — one of the longest-running personalities in league history, and a man of unshakable conviction — introduced the table to a medical condition of his own description. He called it Nut Gas. According to Marland, it was real, it was serious, and it involved gas becoming trapped in a region of the male anatomy that medical science has historically considered gas-free.

The table did what any group of concerned friends would do. We launched an investigation.

The research

Internet searches were performed. Medical references were reviewed. At least one player claims to have asked an actual doctor and then refused to repeat the doctor’s response on the record. The findings were, and remain, conclusive in their inconclusiveness:

1. No scientific paper has ever confirmed Nut Gas.
2. No doctor has publicly recognized Nut Gas.
3. No player has ever successfully explained Nut Gas.

The defense

What separates Nut Gas from an ordinary tall tale is Marland’s delivery. He has never once smiled while explaining it. He discusses it the way other men discuss their mortgage — with the weary seriousness of someone burdened by a truth the world isn’t ready for. This, more than anything, is why the legend endures. You cannot laugh a man out of a position he has never found funny.

It’s real. — Marland, every time, for two decades, with the calm of a man who has nothing left to prove

The official position

After exhaustive review, the League Medical Advisory Board, the Department of Atmospheric Sciences, and the Nut Gas Research Foundation released a joint statement consisting of four words:

Further research is required.

The case remains open. It will always remain open. That’s not a failure of the investigation — it’s the whole point. Read the latest from the Foundation in our coverage of Nut Gas Awareness Month, and revisit the related atmospheric event inquiry.

A note from the League Office: Marland is beloved, this is told with nothing but affection, and we would not trade him — or his contributions to theoretical medicine — for anything.