This Day In History: June 26, 2026 — Tim Went Absolutely Feral on Double Points Night and Multiple Historians Were Bothered

From the Official Historical Record of the Poker In The Wood League, maintained with varying degrees of accuracy since 2004 and with declining objectivity since approximately the same year.

DATE: June 26, 2026
FORMAT: Double Points Night — Tournament M
WINNER: Tim (70 pts)
BIGGEST MOVER: Terry (11th → 7th)
BOUNTIES CLAIMED: 4
SIDE POT STATUS: Inexplicable bilateral draw

What Happened

Tim went absolutely feral. Not in a way that required intervention. In the way a person who has been quietly accumulating a 294-point season occasionally goes feral: with composure, focus, and results that left other people staring at the sky in the parking lot.

He finished first with 70 points. Fourteen players attempted to prevent this. None succeeded. The record shows this and will not be amended.

Historical Context

This was the 13th tournament of the 2026 season. Tim’s season total of 294 points gives him a 33-point lead over Bish (261). Historical data suggests leaders at tournament 13 win the Chief Donkey title more often than not. This is not financial advice. This is a sentence Tim can print out and show people.

Also Documented

• Terry finished 2nd (68 pts) and collected a Tim bounty (+10). Terry has officially profited from Tim’s existence.
• Chance finished 3rd (66 pts) and also collected a Tim bounty (+10). Two people collected the same bounty. The Record has not seen this before.
• Bish finished 4th (52 pts) and collected the Mondo bounty (+20). He was professional about it.
• Marcel finished 12th (16 pts) and collected the Bish bounty (+20). The Circle of Chips was completed.
• Jordan and Marland entered a 🦪 200 Clams side pot. Both emerged with 🦪 100 Clams. The Record is baffled.

Several historians were bothered. The record stands.