Masked Strangers Invade Tourny S; Poker in the Wood Responds With Four Times the Bad Decisions

Two masks. One new leader. A two-point cushion nobody should sit on.

THE WOOD — October 2, 2026. Tourny S has been audited, the standings have been rearranged, and NutGas News has launched an investigation into two masked strangers. Our imaginary investigative bureau suspects poker, witness protection, or a neighborhood intervention. Unfortunately, its entire evidence budget went into calling a raise with five-three offsuit.

Mark Takes the Crown; Everyone Requests a Recount

The actual September 18 results are considerably less mysterious: Mark posted the night’s highest score, 80 points, lifting his season total from 307 to 387 and his position from fifth to first. The league’s silver-haired senior statesman has once again demonstrated that experience counts, particularly when everyone else is busy explaining why their hand should have won.

Bish and Marland each earned 68. Bish stays second on 385; Marland climbs from fourth to third on 379. Mark’s lead is two points over Bish and eight over Marland. In our fictional emergency hearing, Bish demands a construction permit for that dangerously narrow cushion. Marland offers to inspect it. The ventilation committee objects.

Runyon’s 64 deserves applause. Terry and Javier each scored 56, while Don earned 52, Jim 44 and Lecompte 40. Mondo collected 20. Those are tournament points, already recorded in the sheet; nobody gets to multiply them again because they enjoyed the evening.

The Masked-Stranger Inquiry Reaches the Obvious

Our previous reports already introduced the visitors as James and Javier. The score sheet records Jim and Javier; we retain those exact scoring names below. The masks remain excellent theater, even after the newspaper has published the cast list.

In the cartoon version of events, Marland examines the visitors with a magnifying glass while gripping seven-two. Chance demands supporting evidence, then remembers his own starting-hand standards. Marcel takes so long to consider the mystery that the committee briefly becomes a historical society. These scenes are satire; the sheet supplies points, not an elimination report.

Tim scored 16 and slips from first to fifth on 343. Jose’s 32 puts him fourth on 346. Marcel moves from eleventh to tenth with 256, passing Billy, whose eight-point night leaves him on 253. Gary collected four. The counting department has temporarily withdrawn his second digit.

Tonight: Four Times the Bad Decisions

Now comes Quad. Four times the points makes every comeback spreadsheet look brilliant before anybody buys in. Mark’s imaginary legal team has requested an injunction against arithmetic. It was denied by a man already feeding cash into the rebuy machine.

Tournament schedule · Updated standings · The original strangers report

Pull up a chair, welcome the visitors, and bring your best poker face. Masks are optional. Explaining your river call to this Flock is compulsory.